Let's talk about fantasy gaming, Dungeons & Dragons, being a dice goblin, ttrpg in general and my musings as a storyteller and game master. Welcome. I hope you brought snacks.
The world record for the largest game of D&D with the most participants was set by a store in this mall. They had 200 tables all cooperating and a staggering 1,227 participants. Their original goal was 1,000 and by the end of it they were turning people away.
I tried to explain in my last post that I both love and loathe the widely held concept of "dice training" and "dice personalities" and other sorts of dice-related myths. After all, I proclaim, these are just lifeless globs of plastic that -- in a perfect world -- would simply have some statistically consistent randomness to them. A twenty-sided die has a equal 5% chance of landing on any particular side every time and the rolls before and after do not affect the current role.
Well here comes Zee Bashew with another lesson about dice training, that I find both infuriating (because maybe he's serious?) and very, very funny (because he can't be serious).
This delightful monster sheet was designed by BJ Hypes, and covers pretty much everything you'd need to make your Muppets canon:
Muppetborn
Fabric? Is that all I am to you? My blood may be colorful and glittery, but I bleed nonetheless. My people have long struggled to be taken seriously, it is why so many of us turn to our faith, our creator: The Hand. It is a force within all of us that guides our actions and speaks through all Muppetborn. The war of my people is far from over, and it will be the bloodiest yet. Waka waka.
—Fuzzwhizzle Plumpytops, Hand of The Grouch
Fuzzy And Warm
A proud and silly race, Muppetborn are chaotic creatures known for innate magical abilities. Born appearing as small balls of cloth, they quickly develop into creatures that resemble humans, animals, and even monsters…but that doesn't make them evil. Easily spotted by their colorful furs, most Muppetborn who live outside their clans or "Streets" frequently find themselves uninvited from "proper" civilization due to their odd habits. But really, is it a party without a Muppetborn swinging from the chandelier?
Muppetborn Traits
Ability Score Increase. Your Constitution and Dexterity increase by one.
Age. At birth, they resemble small balls of colorful fabric with googly eyes, but quickly sprout limbs and mature at roughly double the speed of humans. The average Muppetborn lives for 60 to 90 years, however some have lived well past 300.
Alignment. Imbued with sporadic energy, Muppetborn often live on the chaotic end of the spectrum.
Size. As varied as the thoughts in their heads, the smallest Muppetborn rest just shy of two feet tall while some are large enough to sink even the sturdiest of rowboats.
Speed. Your base shuffling speed is 30 feet.
Always Obscured. No matter how you look at them, a Muppetborn's bottom half is always out of view. It's said that even when one stands in the middle of a field, the earth will rise up to meet them. For this reason, they are always considered to have half cover and receive a permanent +2 bonus to AC
The Hand. Muppetborn mythology speaks of The Hand inside each of them. They innately know the cantrip Mage Hand, however the floating hand can only lift up to five pounds and move up to five feet per character level.
Nom Nom Nom. Muppetborn absorb the energy from food without ever having to swallow it.
Cloth And Color. All Muppetborn know the cantrip "Mending" and once per long rest it can be used to heal 1d8 hitpoints. This increases to twice per long rest at 5th level, three times at 10th level, four times at 14th level, and five times at 18th level
Languages. You can speak, read, and write Common, Clothing, and Ventrillo.
Subrace. Three main subraces of Muppetborn exist: Hand of The Monster, Hand of The Grouch, and Hand of The Animal. Pick one for your character.
Hand of The Monster+1 Charisma Increase Yaaaaay. At 3rd level, you can perform the mighty roar of The Monster as a bonus action once per short rest. This gives a +5 bonus to the next attack each of your allies within 60 feet makes, as long as they do so in the next minute. Additionally, any ally that makes a Wisdom or Charisma saving throw in the next minute does so with advantage.
Hand of The Grouch+1 Strength Increase. Garbage 'Can', Not Garbage 'Cannot'. At 3rd level, you've learned to fortify yourself amongst the lowest of society and gain proficiency in medium and heavy armor. Additionally, you do not make stealth checks at disadvantage while wearing heavy armor if moving at half speed or slower. Finally, you gain advantage on stealth checks if blending in with filth or garbage.
Hand of The Animal +1 Wisdom Increase. One Of Us. Many Muppetborn resemble animals. From birth, they have have advantage on animal handling checks with these animals and can communicate with them. At 3rd level, they can communicate with similar types of animals, and can also cast Beast Bond once per short or long rest without using a spell slot.
Ah man, that's some great stuff.
It's time to play the music
It's time to light the lights
It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight
It's time to put on makeup
It's time to dress up right
It's time to raise the curtain on the Muppet Show tonight
A few years ago, I'd found a series of audio podcasts of the guys from Penny Arcade and PvP getting together to feature and play test the latest version of Dark Sun for 4th edition.
I've been a fan of Penny Arcade for a while, and I also read PvP on occasion. I downloaded the podcasts and burned them to disc and listened to them through several times on long drives. They were exciting and funny but they also demonstrated well the right feel and theme for Dark Sun while at the same time giving insight into the mechanics of 4th edition to those of us that hadn't played it yet.
Sometimes, the dice fail you. Call it Murphy's Law if you'd like. You need an easy roll, as easy success and the moment comes and the dice lands on an unlikely low number. And your hero fails miserably in a way that strains credibility.
I saw this on Reddit and thought it worth sharing.
Chaotic Evil
None of the infinite universes suit your tastes. Destroy them all.
To put it another way...
Chaotic Evil, "Destroyer"
A chaotic evil character does whatever his greed, hatred, and lust for destruction drive him to do. He is hot-tempered, vicious, arbitrarily violent, and unpredictable. If he is simply out for whatever he can get, he is ruthless and brutal. If he is committed to the spread of evil and chaos, he is even worse. Thankfully, his plans are haphazard, and any groups he joins or forms are poorly organized. Typically, chaotic evil people can be made to work together only by force, and their leader lasts only as long as he can thwart attempts to topple or assassinate him.
Chaotic evil is sometimes called "demonic" because demons are the epitome of chaotic evil.
Chaotic evil is the most dangerous alignment because it represents the destruction not only of beauty and life but also of the order on which beauty and life depend.
Like most DMs, I've been in that spot where I've put in a lot of hard work to develop a game session, but the players seem to be trashing it or wrecking it. Who better to dispense advice than Jason Nelson-Brown in his Wizards.com - Save My Game article.
Understand this -- Your players will never, Never, EVER be as interested in the fine details of your world and your campaign as you are.
This one made me really laugh. I believe it is a parody of a Reagan quote.
There is something eminently laughable about the dichotomy of the Paladin. They are agents of goodness and lawfulness by training, but they --like all mortals-- are not perfect. To the Paladin, this lack of perfection is sometimes ignored. One of the best examples of the story of a stereotypical Paladin "in game" is in Order of the Stick in the form of Miko Miyazaki. Though she was a side character, her arrival and eventual downfall seems a grand story unto itself.
So gamers today wonder why Dungeons & Dragons got such a bad reputation with parents in it's early years. I mean, it's just a game! Right?
Well, imagine yourself as a well-meaning parent in the early eighties and you randomly pick up a strange-looking book in your young child's room while tidying up and the book falls open to this page.
I'm a fan of any decent web comic with a role-playing game. Aaron Williams, notable to readers of Dragon Magazine for his comic Nodwick, also has another very good comic called Full Frontal Nerdity centering on the lives of four gamers and their exploits at the table, at conventions and life in general. Also, for apparently no good reason I can figure out, one of the gamers is a webcam.
I'll have to find the animated version of this, as it's much funnier.
A reprisal of an old audio file by Dr. Demento about the evil of dungeons and dragons preformed by me and my friends. I spelt Tony wrong on the video. I will soon post an outtakes video. Enjoy.
I love spoofs about gaming and gaming critics. Partly this stems from the fact that they sometimes closely match my experiences. I read or watch them and think Hey, I've totally done that! The other reason I like them is that I think this is a hobby where it would be very easy for people to take things too seriously. If you can't laugh at yourself (or a parody of yourself) you are in just such a danger. Here is a great one which is sure to be a classic.
There have always been critics of Dungeons & Dragons and they have made some serious warning videos. Here is a spoof of those warning videos that is funny.
Did he say "drownding"? And what does the banana have to do with anything? See the larger version of this video on Google Video.
![[ Enlarge ] DDO: Wedding Cake - MMOz Screenshots](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/blogger_img_proxy/AEn0k_tlWTmW63WufZfE9LBS1HfnKiHZL9dV7lHKjoUaagiCEStVJBokQZ-Ae2YcPKgwF3UVo-WrRZ_V31gxyc8gDYtQusT_6DKwM1SddPiH-uUJowK4mXPMGuvCpGiHfIEHOsuEdDjZgrENrUEUWpM=s0-d)
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